Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
