All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
