Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
