Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
im drinking this country out of the recession.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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