what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
