And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
