I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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