Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
