i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
