two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
