I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
