jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
