oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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