i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
