You work out of a Hotel?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
