Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
