I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
