Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
