Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
