And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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