Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
