She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
