I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
