No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
