so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
My bed smells like the plague
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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