Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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