She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The struggles of a small town man whore
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
