Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
