just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We left an ass print on the piano.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
