So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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