Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
