omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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