Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
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