No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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