What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
