i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
