I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
