Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Randomize
