apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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