Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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