drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
