There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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