I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
