The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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