I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
