Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
