Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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