ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
if only i could text you this smell
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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