i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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