Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Randomize
