I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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