I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
