No awkward lesbian experiences without me
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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