you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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