South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Are these your boobs on my camera?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
