I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
