just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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